Alas, the time has come for me to move on to another blogging site. I have no complaints about this site...except for changing my web address without telling me- haha. Xanga has served me well for the start of my blogging career. But today I am making the switch to google blogger. After today, I will no longer blog at this site.

Thanks for reading this blog...and thank you if you follow me to my new site!

I have always considered myself a fairly confident person. I have been blessed with a healthy self-esteem, growing up under a sweet mother who told me every day how beautiful and special I was. I have been taught to have a good work ethic, to set goals and work hard to achieve them. I have been taught to give my best in everything I do to the glory of God. My gracious Creator formed my type-A personality, instilling a sense of responsibility and consistency…and my flesh sometimes takes that to an over-achiever, perfectionist extreme. In short, I work hard to do well.

That attitude carried me through honors classes in high school, where I graduated 3^rd in my class. And because 3^rd wasn’t good enough for me- haha- it carried me through college where I graduated from a top tier school with a 4.0 with the honor of highest ranked woman in business. I set a goal, I worked hard, and God blessed the effort I put forth to give my best to Him. I worked my way through school, gaining valuable work experience along the way, continuing to enhance my skills. I took leadership roles, volunteered, and still maintained a healthy balance (haha- close friends and family might disagree). I did all that I could to enhance my resume. I say all of this not to brag on myself; please don’t misunderstand. I just want to give you a picture. Because this is where the beat down comes…

How is it that I can do all that, achieve all that, and still not be qualified? How is that I am never good enough? How is it that they always end up choosing someone else? I mean really…do the other candidates walk on water? Do they have some secret super power? Haha. Again, I am not trying to say I am better than other candidates…but I am really struggling to understand what it is that they have that I don’t. I just want to know. What else could I have done/could I do? Do you have any idea how discouraging that is? “I’m sorry, but perfect grades, graduating first in your class, working your way through school, having leadership roles…nope. Not good enough. Someone else is more qualified than you.” HOW?!?! How are they more qualified? I have never felt more inadequate, unqualified, inexperienced, incompetent. So much for confidence in my abilities. Sigh.

Now, I understand that with the current state of the economy, I am not alone. I know there are a TON of qualified people in this same boat. And I am not trying to say I am the only one getting the shaft. I understand there are a lot of people looking for work, making the job market so overly saturated, it really is a shot in the dark when you apply for a job. To even get an interview is a miracle. I get all of that. But it still doesn’t make it easier. It’s still overly discouraging. To hear over and over (and over and over) that your best is not good enough…complete beat down. My theology and my head tell me that God is in control. But as the days, weeks, and months pass…I grow weaker and more weary.

I am tired. Tired of wading through google searches, career websites, career centers, job postings. Tired of editing and re-working my resume. Tired of writing cover letters, submitting applications, providing references. I am tired of interviews. I’m tired of telling people how excited I am about the possibility of working for them, growing with their company, contributing my talents. I am tired of waiting on HR managers, just to hear “no” again. I am tired of sending thank you notes, follow up emails, and decision inquiries. I am tired of hearing “It will come soon. Surely you will get a job soon. It will be ok.”

I just have to say (and this is not meant to be a guilt trip, or an attempt at being a martyr): if you still have your job, be thankful for it. If you have survived the last round of layoffs at your company, be grateful you have a paycheck for that much longer. After my long post, I do have to say that I am VERY thankful for the temp work that God has provided in the interim. I don't want to be remiss in mentioning His provision as I continue my search. Last summer, when I was experiencing this same situation (yeah, this isn't new to me. sigh) I wrote about never complaining about Mondays again in my life. And since then, and in my work at Eagle U, I never complained about having to get up and go to work on Mondays. I looked forward to Mondays, because it meant I had a job to go to. This time around, I am resolving to remember to be grateful for my job...no matter how bad things are. I am resolving to be grateful for even the menial tasks. Because usually the things we complain about are little and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things anyway.

I need relief. And I need it soon…

This weekend I coordinated the wedding of my sweet friend Austen. When she came to me last fall, asking if I would help with her wedding planning, I readily agreed. Little did I know what I was really getting myself into... "Helping" turned into "full-out planning." LOL. Despite the initial shock of the reality of my role, I was eager to tackle the challenge. I just have to explain the broad scope of what I got myself into...

Back in the fall, I was asked to plan a May wedding in Charleston, South Carolina. That was a challenge, considering I live in Texas. But we were making headway, and things were starting to fall into place. Right before New Year's, the sweet bride came to me with an event revision: we were moving the wedding to Texas! Despite the fact the last few months of planning were gone, I was excited to ease the stress of a far away wedding. The catch was that she was moving the wedding up two months. That's right- a March wedding in Texas. I had just over 2 months to re-plan an entire wedding. Ha!

You have to understand: I absolutely LOVE event coordination. It's my chosen career choice, and never am I more in my element than when I am planning/coordinating an event. And I was more than happy to help a friend. But I quickly realized I was in over my head when the clock was ticking and I was a staff of one. I faced wall after wall, challenge after challenge. But in the end- it was a beautiful wedding, no major mishaps, and the bride was happy. What more could I ask for?

As I ran around all weekend trying to get this wedding to go off without a hitch, I had to pause (if only for a brief millisecond) and reflect on what I was actually doing. While it was crazy, and I nearly had a heart attack more than once over the course of the weekend- lol- I realized that I was doing what I loved. And I realized I couldn't give it up without a fight. Now understand, if God asked me to give it up because He had something else for me, I would. It would be extremely difficult to do, but I would do it. But throughout this job search process, I have wondered if I was in the wrong industry. Given the economy, there aren't a plethora of event jobs out there. But after this weekend, I felt as though God was confirming the gifts/talents He created in me. This is what I am supposed to do. It's not the overall calling on my life- planning events as a calling would be silly. But I do believe it is the job He created for me in this temporal world. The gifts and abilities He has developed in me...I was meant to plan events. My calling is how I plan those events and impact the people I come in contact with for the glory of God and the advancement of His kingdom.

And so I continue searching and I continue waiting. As I unloaded my car from the wedding, I had a vision of the future. I looked at the mound of event materials that littered my backseat, and I thought: one day, I am going to look back on this day and smile. I am going to smile to see where I started...and how far God had brought me from 'those early days.' I am going to smile as I think how I got my start...and so I share with you a snapshot of my "before." This is where Erin, Certified Meeting and Event Planner, got her start: her apartment was her office, her living room was her warehouse, her personal vehicle was her first loading truck, her first clients were her friends...

On a random note...I just have to say that I am a HUGE fan of staying in a hotel. (Told you it was random). I think the thing I have realized is that it's not just about staying in a hotel...it's about staying in a hotel by myself. I stayed in a hotel over the weekend for the wedding so that I could be close to the event venue...and I was happy as a clam. It was a basic hotel...a Holiday Inn Express, actually. But just having my own space...so nice. I had a king-sized bed, a flat screen HDTV, an in-room coffee maker, and my choice of pillow firmness- lol. I am fairly easy to please

My hotel room for the event weekend...

The choice of pillow firmness just made me laugh!

Ready to take on the day...ready to tackle this wedding....